The pain was enormous. His sister who was responsible for bringing him into life in many varying ways, a prophetess who uplifted her people at their darkest hours, was now gravely ill and publicly rebuked. Nevertheless, despite the intensity of the moment, it is jarring to hear Moshe Rabbeinu preface his brief prayer with the demand of Hashem, “Answer me whether you are going to heal her or not” (Rashi 12:13).
The textual indication notwithstanding, (why else would the Torah record (12:13), “Moshe cried out to Hashem ‘לאמר’ which usually translates “in order to transmit” or as we say in yeshiva “to say over”), this is a prayer to Hashem and no matter how yeshivish the Almighty is, to whom will He say it over? That is what guides Chazal to teach us that in this psasuk “לאמר” must mean to respond to Moshe and let him know if his prayers are being answered. What end would justify this seeming moment of being overly comfortable with the Almighty?
Rabbi Shimshon Chaim Nachmani, the eighteenth century Italian Kabbalist in his very popular Zera Shimshon that has generated so much brocho, has us reading the Rashis very carefully. Taken together Rashi’s comments weave the backstory and in this case the thoughts coursing through Moshe’s mind as he formulates his prayers for his sister’s welfare. To be sure, the entire prayer itself is but five words “Keil nah r’fah nah la - Please O powerful G-d Please heal her”, and yet Rashi highlights Moshe’s deliberations with no less than three entries.
Firstly, with the redundant “please” Moshe sought to instruct that when making requests from people [and certainly from Hashem] one should first say two or three words of entreaty and only then “make the pitch” (Sifrei, Bamidbar 105). Secondly, Rashi explains that the singular brevity of the davening was to avoid the possible criticism of, “ His sister is in trouble, and he offers long prayers, [she needs his support; she needs him at her bedside and all he can do is pray] ?!” (Sifrei, Bamidbar 105). Thirdly and alternatively, He prayed so briefly “so that the people should not say: [Ahhh,] for his sister he prays long [does not stop], but [not for us;] for us he would not pray for so long”.
Rashi explains that Moshe, as his throbbing heart was begging for his sister’s recovery, his mind was teaching the Jewish people. He made sure that from that moment we would learn the appropriate introduction to any request, that when a person is in trouble and may need to be attended to, encouraged, and strengthened, and that those needs require shorter davenings. He wanted everyone to know that his prayers knew no nepotism, and that everyone is his sister when they are in trouble.
At that moment Moshe Rabbeinu created the space and shaped the quandary of all those in public service for ever after. Every rabbi and every rebbe knows these moments so well. Can I be there for my family and my people at the same time? Am I being a responsible and loving father, husband, brother, and son if I multitask and have an eye to those who are watching and teach my community and students at the same time? Can I be “all in” to family, friends, students and kehilla all at once?
The Zera Shimshon suggests that it is the only question that Moshe needed answered then. That is the “לאמר” of the parsha - please tell me if I am doing this right, if I am doing right by Miriam, if I teach the legacy of prayer at this time, if I don’t stand in lengthy prayer but choose to use the moment to give people greater confidence in the conduct and prayers of leadership? That plagued Moshe and on that he needed prompt guidance.
One more observation of the Zera Shimshon is that he notes that Rashi’s comments are contrary to the order of the words of the text. Rashi first explains the five-worded prayer and then comments on the “לאמר”. The possuk obviously has “לאמר” prior to the prayer. Rav Nachmani explains that Rashi first has to point out the considerations of Moshe Rabbeinu, that he will use the moment to teach, and only then can we appreciate that he was asking for guidance on that matter alone alongside his prayers for Miriam.
How deliberate and deep is every word of Rashi!